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THAT'S it. I'm sick and tired of filling out the same old 'about me' style
survey things.
Same repetitive questions. So now it's my turn to ask the questions, and it's going to be anything
but typical, and even further from sanity. So grab your keyboard and start punching in your psychotic answers so you
can send them back asap. tysonwagner@hotmail.comFeel free to pass this around too. Remember to copy and paste your reply,
instead of forwarding it.
Here we go...
1. What's the best thing a tree is
for? it gives the dust bunnies something to eat.
2. What's better, spiders crawling all over you
or snakes? And why?Snakes, as long as they're not boa constrictors or poisonous, cuz they aren't so small, so you can find
them all and take them off you whenever you want. They're also cuter.
3. What's your favorite song to sing
in the shower? It's getting hot in here....
4. How many farmers does it take to fill a standard four
door car and how do you know? 8 i know because i know EVERYTHING
5. What would an elephant do on it's
night out on the town when it escapes from the zoo? rob a peanut vender.
6. If dogs could speak English,
what would they say to you? your a damn fool now stop petting me
7.
If it takes half a chicken half a day to lay half an egg, how long does it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the
warts off a dill pickle, true or false? Red
8. What's the greatest thing you know about cornflakes? they
can kill you as you eat them
9. If your flying over the ocean in your canoe and the wheel falls off, how
many pancakes can you make in a barn before the cows come home? I wouldn't have a chance to make any. The farmers from
#4 are very protective of their barns. I'd join the grasshopper. Dill pickles are better than pancakes anyway. Oranges are
better than either, but I don't eat them, I get them from Tom. He's very good about oranges.
10. If it's raining
cats and dogs, how do you roast your marshmallows? throw a cat on the fire
PROBLEM
SOLVING:
11. You need to cross the ocean because you're stranded on an island. All you
have is 10 boxes of toothpicks, a pack of bubblegum, a lollipop, a hockey stick, and a reclining chair. What do you
do? take the reclining chair and the hockey stick and the toothpicks and throw em in the ocean and then i take the lollipop
and bubblegum and i eat em cuz i am hungry and then i will sit and wait patiently until i am rescued
12. You are
suddenly surrounded by ninjas while eating your breakfast one morning, instantly your radio turns on and you hear the disco
hit "Stayin' Alive". What do you do? run ;like hell, but after
turning the volume up so i can hear the song as i run
13. Your out for a walk on a sunny afternoon when you happen
to come across 'Lucky' the leprechaun eating his Lucky Charms. They look magically delicious. What do you do?
i show him my kung pow chicken like owen wilson in shanghai knights, and run off into the sunset with my klennex
14.
You have two apples and you eat five. What just happened? you stole 3 from the dancing monkey on the street
15.
You magically appear on the set of one of those Idol shows. Your singing abilities include songs such as "Mary
had a Little Lamb", "I'm a Little Teapot", and "The ABC's". What do you do? haha sing them all and watch everyone
suffer bwahahaha
16. You are invited to a dinner with the Cat in the Hat, the Pope, Madonna, and Joe from
Canada. What do you wear? um..well my sheep would carry a beer, i'd wear a cone shaped bra (haha), i'd have the cat
in the hat hat on my head and the pope well... he'd just have to eat a sea urchin
17. You are pulled over for
speeding, and as the cop looks in your car he starts eying your box of jelly doughnuts. You don't want a ticket, but
those doughnuts are REALLY good too. What ever shall you do? say...gee officer your eyes look glazed have you been
eating donuts? and then when he sheepishly says yes say i don't think you need these then and very slowly eat all the donuts
while the officer looks on hungrily
18. You happen to be lounging around outside in your favorite flourescent pink
t-shirt and neon green shorts, when a little bird flies up to you and asks if you have any requests for a song. What
do you do? go inside because ive probably had too much sun
19. After eating some three day old macaroni
you find out that you have x-ray vision. Where's the first place you go? If I couldn't turn it off, I'd go to wherever
Tom Cruise went in Minority Report to get a change of eyeballs, and then we'd eat oranges together in a theatre.
20.
An alien lands in your backyard, it looks exactly like a soccer ball with legs and arms. What do you do? lets play
ball!!!
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