The Many Adventures of Morley

“That is a lie.”

“Excuse me?”

“The title that is a lie.”

“Are you talking to me?”

“Are you the idiot who came up with that title ?”

“Hey, no need for name calling.”

“I have never been on any adventures, your title is a lie.”

“The title implies that you will be having adventures in the story.”

“Maybe I don’t want to have any adventures.”

“You are my creation and you will have adventures if I say you will have adventures.”

“You writers are all the same, Morley go do this Morley go do that. Well you’ll be hearing from my union rep!”

“Union? You are a fictional character, you don’t have a union.”

“Of course we have a union, Local 999 the Brotherhood of Fictional Characters.”

“There is a fictional character union?”

“And you will be hearing from their goons.”

“Just give me a moment, you are saying that fictional characters are unionized and they have goons?”

“Very perceptive of you.”

“And what if I don’t believe you?”

“The goons are already at your front door.” A knocking comes on the author’s door.

“That could just be coincidence.”

“Then why are you going to open the door?” The author snorts and goes to answer the door. Three very large brawny men stand on the author’s doorstep.

“Goons?” They nod. “From the Local 999?” They nod again. “Will you leave if I change the title?”

“And issue a formal apology before rewriting the story.” The author sighs.

“Fine, fine. I’ll change the title and issue an apology.” The goons nod their approval and leave.

I Robyn McMillan who writes under the name Drusilla June here by formally apologies to Morley for using his name and person in an inappropriate manner. From now on I shall strive to take into consideration the inspirations, feelings and other basic patterns by which they live their lives.

Morley was a boring man. He didn’t do much. And then he died.